KU-KSU

As I was getting my haircut at sportsclips I had a profound thought, and no it wasn't the reoccuring one that the hair stylist(or barborettes as i call them) work as strippers at night, even though they have stripper nams(misty!) and smell like strippers(or what i think strippers smell like). Im telling you, when i get this confirmed im writing about it in the kansan. It solves the age old question, what do strippers do during the day, like what do ice cream men do during the winter. Anyway, me and the goldsquad thought what better way to watch KU@KSU than to actually be there. So with fake media passes in our pockets, a chipolte burrito hanging out my mouth, and 40 bucks in my wallet we headed towards the little apple. The ride there was uneventful except for me calling in bakers show on kjhk asking who should i put my money on to win the cactus league,and baker not realzing it was a joke and responding YOU DONT BET ON SPRING TRAINING BASEBALL. Oh well, by the way bet on the Royals, March is like our october, we just cant be stopped. Anyway we get to the little apple and it doesn't really look to bad, althought it was night which should probably go on a travel brochure(Manhattan, Kansas- doesn't look bad at night) Anyway we parked far away from Bramledge(YOUR NOT GETTING ME THIS TIME ARBY'S) and Todd haggled some guy to get two tickets for 25 bucks each. Great get by Todd, when I run a business he is my chief negoticator, just like if i write a sitcom about homeless people Mike Keller is my writing partner. By the way, it wouldn't be making fun of homeless people, it would be homeless people making fun of..uh people with homes. It would be like a homeless version of the show Friends, except the setting wouldn't be drinking coffee in a coffee shop, but drinking whiskey on the capital steps in Topeka........

Anyway we get in, and guess what, the place was packed and it actually felt like a big time game. I don't care if they were playing early 90's jock jam music and the students decided to adopt another color, it felt like somthing big was going to happen.......but it didn't here is a quick overview on my thoughts of the game

. Sherron Collins is now our go to guy. He reminds me of Bill Whittemore in that he is short, fast, isn't afraid to take the big shots(yeah i know its a reach but i just wanted to compare a ku bball player a ku football player and have it actually be positive, plus you can never have to much whittemore in a blog)

. KSU fans boo everything. BOOOOOOO. The guy behind me complained after EVERY call, and would make a noise(think a cross between a horse and a cow) everytime a call went agaisnt KSU, maybe it was some secret code, I don't know. Also they showed a sign that said "Tim Hardaway hates KU" Which was funny but got me thinking that Hardaway is probably a god to these people now. If Mahattan had a mount rushmore it would be Hardaway, John Rocker and the Dukes of Hazzard brothers.

. This was their super bowl and they blew it HAHAHA(yeah im just being an ass now, but w/e, im enjoying it)

Also just want to point out Manhattan probably has the best McDonalds playarea in the state of Kansas, plus the first Sonic playarea I have ever seen. I guess that can go in the travel brochure as well

Taxi cab ride between Allard Baird and Jason Whitlock

*Both enter Taxi in Miami, Florida

Jason: Hey I think I know you from somewhere
Allard: I think I recognize you too
Jason: Weren't you the father in that Batman movie a couple years ago
Allard: Did I play a role in that movie? Maybe, but Ken how can you not remember me
Jason:Ken?
Allard: Ken Harvey?
Jason: No?
Allard:.......
Jason.....
Taxi Cab Driver: Did somebody say Ken Harvey
Allard: OMG ITS DICK KAEGEL
Dick Kaegel: Dick Kaegel, mlb.com
Allard: Why are you driving Taxi's
Dick Kaegel: I'm Dick Kaegel, mlb.com
Allard: .........So Jason, what are you here for
Jason: To try and get back on PTI
Allard- What is PTI
Jason: A show on ESPN
Allard: What is ESPN
Jason:.....
Allard: i'm sorry i don't get out much when I was working with the Royals
Jason; Why are you here?
Allard: To see my wife
Jason: You have a wife, all these years I thought you were gay?
Allard: Yeah, Tim Hardaway wouldn't invite me to his super bowl party because of that
Jason: Is this a race thing
Allard: What
Jason: Black people
Allard:..........
Jason: So how are the Royals going to do this year, I hear they have this player, Sweeney, he is good, isn't he
Allard: I'm fired
Jason; Black people
Allard: I got to go, my stop is coming up
Dick Kaegel: Allard, you won't find your wife, you will find pain and suffereing
End of first installment

WILL ALLARD FIND HIS WIFE? WILL DICK KAEGEL DRIVE HIS TAXI SOME MORE? WILL WHITLOCK GET BACK ON ESPN? FIND OUT SOON

KU vs Nebraska

I was going to do a running diary about KU vs Nebraksa but deleted the entire thing after I wrote that Brad Weatherspoon is a fire-hydrant with a homeless guys mentality. That doesn't even make sense. Also props to Dean Smith for showing up at Allen today wearing the North Carolina blue jacket, man has some balls.

I am glad it is warming up again, if I get snowed in again my next entry is going to be a made up car ride conversation between Dave Armstrong, Kevin Keitzman and Danny Clingsdale. The world isn't ready for that yet.

Snow Snow Snow

It's snowing here, car is snowed in, watching TNT All Star coverage, lets begin

8:58- Ernie and Chuck doing the halftime report
Craig Sager is looking like a pimp, says kenny is throwing a party. Kenny just looks to innocent though, like a good natured high schooler throwing a party, and ya know before you know it ron artest and mike tyson are going to crash it and Kenny's mother 1,000 dollar vase is going to get broken. At least that is what I am thinking is going to happen

9:00- Craig Sager is interviewing some rappers, I don't know if Craig could look more out of his element.
Earnie asks who else is going to be at the party? I wonder if Craig Sager is going, with his suit he is getting some action.

9:03- A Eudora commercial, hmmm a vacation at Eudora or Las Vegas, I.....I just can't decide. Does Vegas have a cool watertower like Eudora, this one might be close

9:05 Barkley just picked Gerald Green to win the slam dunk contest, I think Gerald Green is the only guy that the fans can even accept winning, Robertson put on a birdman performance last year(and he won...BIGGEST TRAVESTY EVER) Howard is to big, and Thomas after his quotes is just unlikable, as a matter of fact, I hope he does a Julian and falls on his face for the windmill dunk. Another random thing, instead of a 5,000 dollar prize, what about a gget out of jail card by the NBA, like you can get in a brawl, attack a ref, or ship some illegal mexicans in, and you can't get suspended. You don't think Ron Artest would sign up in a second.

Did I mention how much I would rather be in Vegas right now

9:10 Dick Stockton doing the rookies vs sophs game, yeah a little different than Lakers-Celtics Finals games from the 80's. By the way, the sophs are just going crazy in a blowout, FIRE THE ROOKIE COACH THIS IS UNACCETPABLE, AHHH . What is a better game to bet on, this game or spring traning games?

9:12- Why does the croud sound like a bunch of girls at a N'Sync concert. Did TnT mix up up the fake crowd noise

9:14- Is that Chris Bosh as the coach, I would like to see Charles Oakley as a coach, the rookies would be playing a little harder, I guarantee that

9:15- They announced that the fan vote for the rookie mvp of this game will be over 50% of the vote, I FEEL SO BLESSED TO BE WATCHING THIS

9:16- I think a more interesting game with the same idea(sort of) would be the worst NBA team vs best NCAA team. Florida vs Celtics, I would watch

9:17- This game is hard to watch, but I am going to stay with this for at least ten more minutes
Random note- All Star game not on network tv is almost as sad as me doing a running blog on this game on a friday night. Although TNT does the NBA much better so at least we are going with the better channel. Wow Doc from Back to the Future hasn't aged in twenty years in that commercial.

9:20 Some guy on the rookie just grabbed a guys stomach and was angry he was whistled for the foul. GO CRAZY YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

9: 26- David Lee is now 12 for 12, ladies and gentalmen you are watching history, yes history in the making from Sin City.

9:27- Wow what a shocker, the intensity in this game is one step above a bunch of dudes at the rec chucking up half cout shots

9:28- I wish I was at Vegas and attending the parties, but I would probably end up at the lame Vegas party with Jim Gray, Shane Battier and JJ Reddick. NO JJ YOUR POETRY DOESNT MAKE YOU DARK AND MYSTERIOUS

9: 30: I have a feeling my comp might freeze, it might be for the best.
I want to see a drunk Oakley come out of the stands, take the basketball and punt it into the stands while scolding the youngins. That would be awesome.
9:32- What about Team Nike vs Team Addias one year for a Friday night game, hmm that deserves its own post
You know what, the Danny Boatwright bobblehead doll is a lot more hotter than the real life boatwright, think about it

9:33- Hey Stern, put the NBA back on NBC, you jackass
Oops bogan with a 24 second violation, this is getting out of hand, I think I just saw Jordan Farmer sleeping on the far right corner of the court. What if they played the game on those slamball courts, that would be far more exciting.

9:38- Man alcohol wold make this game a lot better, I did this update because I thought it would make the game more entertanining, it brought it from a 2 to about a 2.5.
I wonder if Jordan has bet any of his mvp trophies in a game of poker, I bet it has crossed his mind

9:40- I bet the current freshman could beat both of these squads, I mean Durant, Oden and company, its going to be ugly next year. Maybe the rookies can practice in the summer, I am sure this loss is boiling their blood.
Only 5 minutes left!!!

9:42- the sophamores just broke the scoring record held by the 2000 sophamores. Do you think the 2000 group sits around every year and watches this game hoping there record, there legacy will live on forever, yeah so do I

Another idea what about the Celtics vs the best wnba team, i know it would be celtics by 70 and would set the female movement back like 30 years but don't tell me it wouldn't pop a rating

With the new age limit why dont they just call it (college) sophamores vs juniors, because in a few years that is what it is going to be

9:45- Jordan will judge the slam dunk contest tommorow, I hope he makes Tyrus Thomas cry. Wow this game is bad, if I played in this game and played hard I could get a double double, just beacause the players couldn't be more hungover

40 more seconds DO YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT! Will the sophomore fans storm the court will the confeti fall, Ohh hold on let me get my cell phone and vote chris paul for mvp. I wonder how Kenny's party is going.



ITS OVER, whoa they just showed about 100 eight-year old girls wearing pink, this is probably the greatest moment of their lives.

Lee wins the mvp trophy, you will see that trophy in the next two days on ebay or he will leave it at a slot machine.

IM OUT